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Nous Deux (The two of us)
Hebdo No 2924 du 15-21 July 2003 |
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| "I met the man who is alive because of my son’s heart" In January 2002, Pascale Lilla respected the wish of her son Denis, who died in an accident at 18 years of age: to donate his organs. Fate would have it that two Swiss families, that of the donor and that of the recipient, would break the rule of anonymity….
Pascale Lilla: There was a child in his class that had cancer. They talked about organ donations. It stayed with him. We spoke of it at home. My two sons and I form a very close single-parent family. There was a lot of love between us. For Denis, a natural sportsman, receiving medical aid was more likely than receiving an organ, however, to him, if you accepted the principle, you had to follow through. So Denis decided to sign an organ donor card. And destiny came knocking at your door… Yes. Denis had an accident on 5 January 2002, 300m from our home in Switzerland. After skidding on black ice, his car hit a wall. His body was impacted in only one place, his left temple. A helicopter transported him to the hospital. There, my second son, Guy and I waited for 3 hours without receiving the slightest bit of information on his condition. We had to get angry in order for them to let us see him. The prognosis was linked to the progression of the cerebral edema, which was gradually diminishing. Denis was in a coma, but we didn’t stop talking to him and encouraging him to fight. When the edema increased brutally, we understood that he was going to leave us. When did the question of taking his organs come up? We anticipated the decision and told them that Denis was very much in favour of organ donation. I was told: “Madame, he isn’t dead yet”. By the end of the day, the intensive care doctor and the neurologist confirmed what we already knew. We stayed alone with Denis, in order to let him know that it was okay for him to go. The machines kept him alive until the last tests had been performed. I would have liked to be able to touch my son, to have, at the moment of his departure, the same physical contact as at his birth, but we were behind the curtain. The death of the brain was confirmed. Denis made a choice and we respected his choice. His death had not been in vain -- 7 organs were taken, to the benefit of 8 recipients. You met the recipient of the heart? Yes indeed. Jem, who had benefited from a heart transplant, knew a friend of Denis. She pointed out that the date of the transplant that he had undergone coincided with the date of Denis’ death. Since we had created the Foundation, Pass the Baton*, I participated in a television program that Jem’s family had watched. As for my part, I read an article in the press about Jem. His mother suggested that we meet. 5 hours later, we were together. We shared pictures and had a meal together. Jem, 22 and my son Guy, 18, talked together about computers. That day a friendship was forged between our two families. In your eyes, is the heart that of your son, Denis? I am very clear on this point: it’s Jem’s heart. His myopathic heart, which threatened to give in, weighed 8 kilograms. In order to fill such a large cavity, a tall and athletic donor was needed. Denis’ death is felt through his absence, not the taking of his organs. It’s his daily presence, his humour and his warmth that I miss. For me, he left us “complete”. This may seem paradoxical. His cremation, which we had decided upon long ago, was more painful than the taking of his organs. What are the objectives of your Foundation? To distribute in Switzerland a organ donor card for which the data is recorded in a computerized registry. To organize information campaigns. To recruit volunteer ambassadors for our cause amongst personalities from the world of medicine, politics, culture and athletics. To propose a forum for discussion on our website. It is on our website that the recipient of Denis’ lungs showed up to express his gratitude. A boy of 19. Marie Bourdin *Passez le Relais Tel.: (0)21.964.19.15 preceded by 0041 if calling from France. E-mail: info@passezlerelais.org et www.passezlerelais.org - Recommended reading - Le don d'organes, Marlyse Tschui, éd. Anne Carrière |
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